


only see daylight

by banesapothecary (komhmagnus)



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Acceptance, Coming Out, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feelings, Happy Ending, Late Night Conversations, Light Angst, Love, M/M, Patrick Brewer is Gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-30
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 00:51:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20826644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/komhmagnus/pseuds/banesapothecary
Summary: “No, I mean—” he takes another breath, trying to steady his voice. David kisses the corner of his mouth again, drawing circles on the back of Patrick’s neck with his thumb. “I’ve never said that before. Out loud. That I’m gay.”





	only see daylight

**Author's Note:**

> Patrick Brewer is gay!! No other way to interpret it!! Our lord and savior Daniel Joseph Levy said it himself!! I have a lot of feelings about it!!
> 
> Title is from Daylight by Taylor Swift

The apartment is still dark when Patrick wakes up. ‘Wakes up’ is a bit generous, though, he thinks. He’d spent most of the night staring at the ceiling, the wall. David’s sleeping form beside him.

David’s breath is the only sound, quiet but still filling the small space of the apartment just enough to keep a weight from sinking fully onto Patrick’s chest. Too much had happened the night before. The only thing keeping Patrick sane is David’s arm draped across his stomach, applying a familiar warmth and pressure.

The thing is, Patrick knows he should be fine. He told his parents. He told them about David, about their relationship. He told them about himself.

But he hadn’t actually said the words, he’d realized much later. Too late, after his parents had gone back to their room at the motel and he and David had fallen into Patrick’s bed, arms wrapped tightly around each other.

_ I’m gay. _

The words sit on the edge of his tongue now, begging to be spoken. Tingling there like an itch that won’t go away unless he does something about it.

He sits up suddenly, lurching towards the edge of the bed as his chest tightens and his eyes burn. Patrick curses under his breath when he feels the bed shift beside him, wiping hastily at his eyes before David fully wakes.

“Patrick?” David’s voice is rough from sleep, but concerned enough that Patrick knows he won’t be able to brush this off and convince David to go back to sleep. “What’s wrong?” he asks, a sleep-warm hand settling gently on Patrick’s shoulder.

Patrick turns, sees the concern etched into David’s features even in the dark. He can’t hold it back anymore, all of the emotion and thoughts keeping him awake crashing out of him in a sob. Not even a second later, he’s crashing into David, whose arms go tight around him in an instant. 

David doesn’t say anything. He holds Patrick close with arm, running the other soothingly up and down Patrick’s back until his breath begins to slow and the tears ebb. Patrick doesn’t move after the tears stop. He can’t. He clings to David instead, who doesn’t seem willing to move either, except to pull both of them back down against the pillows so Patrick is lying half on top of him.

“Do you want to talk about it?” David asks finally, tightening his hold on Patrick when he takes a shuddering breath.

Patrick nods, pulling off David just enough to see his face, but still incredibly close. He takes another breath, screwing his eyes shut for a second, before opening them and letting the breath loose. 

“I’m gay,” he says.

It feels like relief. It feels  _ right. _ He hears his own words in the motel, after everything with Rachel.  _ You make me feel right, David. _ This feels the same way. It’s dizzying, Patrick thinks, glad David’s arms are still around him to keep him grounded against the mattress.

David leans ever closer to kiss the corner of Patrick’s mouth. “I think we’ve covered that,” he teases, and Patrick knows he’s trying to make him feel better even if he doesn’t understand what Patrick means. Patrick loves him all the more for it even as he shakes his head.

“No, I mean—” he takes another breath, trying to steady his voice. David kisses the corner of his mouth again, drawing circles on the back of Patrick’s neck with his thumb. “I’ve never said that before. Out loud. That I’m gay.”

David blinks. “Oh,” he says after a moment. “Then I’m honored to be the first person you told.”

Patrick smiles, ducking his head to hide his face in David’s neck. “I’m glad it was you.”

“But—?” David prompts, knowing Patrick too well at this point to know that isn’t the end of it.

Patrick presses himself closer, breathing in the scent of David’s lotion and grounding himself. Everything seems a little better with David pressed so close, surrounding him in every sense of the word. 

“But, I didn’t tell my parents,” Patrick says, the words falling out in a rushed whisper. “I mean, I did. They know about you, about us, but I didn’t say  _ it. _ I didn’t say, ‘I’m gay.’ And now it’s too late and—”

“Who says it’s too late?” David interrupts.

Patrick shrugs, or attempts to, but the gesture is lost to how tightly he’s pressed into David. “The moment’s passed.”

David pulls back, shushing Patrick when he whines at the loss. He cups Patrick’s cheek as he stares at him in the darkness. “No, it hasn’t,” David says in a hushed but sure voice. “There’s no timeframe for this. If there’s more you need to say, you can say it whenever and however you want.”

“But my parents—”

“Are staying at the motel, and you’re getting breakfast at the cafe with them tomorrow,” David reminds him. “You can tell them then, if you want to.”

Patrick bites his lip, meeting David’s eyes. Even in the darkness, Patrick can see the warmth and love inside them. He nods. “Okay, David. Will you, um, will you come with me?” he asks, hating the hesitancy in his own voice.

“If you want me there,” David says, brushing his thumb along Patrick’s cheekbone, “of course I will. There’s no where else I’d rather be.”

Patrick smiles, feeling light for the first time since the surprise party. “When did you get so corny?” he teases.

David rolls his eyes, scooting closer until his body rests partly on top of Patrick. “That’s what happens when I don’t get any sleep,” he grumbles, but Patrick knows it’s not a real complaint for the kiss David presses against his shoulder blade.

The next morning, David doesn’t even complain about waking before 10. He holds Patrick’s hand as they drive to the cafe, only letting go when they get out of the car. Their fingers immediately find each other again.

If his parents are confused by the second coming out, they don’t mention it. His dad smiles between Patrick and David, his face open and proud. His mom looks the same, reaching across the table to take Patrick’s free hand.

He feels lighter. Safe. Loved.

Proud.

When David squeezes his hand and smiles broadly at him, Patrick is suddenly aware of two important truths: Patrick Brewer is gay, and he wants to marry David Rose.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated 💖  
Find me on tumblr and twitter @banesapothecary


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